If you hate traditional goal setting because it tends to leave you feeling like an idealist with unrealistic expectations of yourself that you almost never live up to, then you will <3 this video.
These are 4 questions you must ask yourself for the new year.
Grab your journal and a pen because you’re going to want to follow along and answer these questions as I ask them. Ready? Let’s go!
Ok, so. Here’s the thing. Traditional goal setting can really suck the life out of you at times. If you’re anything like me, you’ve set goals, and set goals, and set goals and you’ve reached maybe like 1% of them.
There are a few reasons why us folk may not be reaching our goals and I’m going to share a little bit more about that in the video. So watch on. But I will say this, what you’re not aware of controls you. What you are aware of you have control over.
Also, to be fair, there may be extenuating circumstances that are completely external which might prevent you from reaching a goal. For example, you may lose a loved one, have a health challenge, or have a financial hardship. Life happens. And when it does, it can quickly change your plans.
So this is why I believe less in goal setting, but more so in reflection and projection, if you will.
Reflect on what you’ve gone through, done, accomplished, overcome, etc. And then project into the future what you want, who you want to become, what you want to give, see, have, do, or be. Perhaps there are places you want to go, people you want to meet, things and relationships you need to recover from. Who knows?
I do know this without a doubt…we all have trauma to one degree or another. We have hurt, wounds, scars; things we’ve done to others and things others have done to us. So we need to be honest about that stuff and get the exact help we need in order to move in the direction we’re aiming for.
I can’t possibly have all the answers so you do what works for you. Just keep moving in the right direction and learn as you go. All the information will present itself in time.
This has been the case for me. One baby step at a time. Now on to the fun stuff.
Step One – Review
Take stock of the history of your life over the past decade. How old were you? What major life events have you experienced? What’s on the highlight reel?
Step Two – Ask these 4 questions
- What were you doing when you were most proud of who you were?
- What do you absolutely want more of in the new year?
- How do you want to define your personal style this year?
- How will you use your influence to impact the lives of others in a positive way this year?
Watch the video to hear my personal answers and goals.
Step Three – What were your accomplishments?
If you’re like me, you may tend to rush through your accomplishments and miss out on fully soaking in your wins. Write down a list of all your accomplishments both personally and professionally in detail.
It can be really easy for us to move into ingratitude or despair and it could be that we’re just not slowing down long enough to recognize what we’ve accomplished.
Step Four – Who do you need to thank?
Along those lines, who do you need to thank for helping you get to where you are right now? As my friend and mentor, Jeff Goins, says, “Every story of success is a story of community.”
Take the time to make a list of all the people who official or unofficial patrons and supporters of your work. Then thank them if that is possible.
What are you dreaming about? What do you want?
Now the fun thing for the dreamer: dream. What do you want to see, do, be, create, have, or become?
What are your dreams? They may not be “realistic” or they may not be possible within one year. However, they could be possible to create in the next ten years.
Not in the video but I think this is or at least could be an essential step
I think you could also make a list of people you might want to make amends to if possible. Were you a little snarky, rude, or sarcastic? Did you miss important appointments? Did you ghost one too many acquaintances? Now is the time to reach out (if it feels right to you) and apologize. No need to expect anything in return or explain. I mean you can if you want to. But just say “Hey, I was thinking about you and this and just in case there were any hard feelings I apologize and I hope you can forgive me. hope you have a happy new year!”
That is my high subjective approach to review my decade and for “goal” setting. I hope you got a lot out of this and will actually take the time to ask yourself these questions.