Are you feeling trapped and frustrated these days?
Is overwhelm becoming your new normal?
Do you find yourself feeling disappointed and fearful because you’re striving to meet a certain standard?
Today I’m stepping outside my comfort zone by sharing a video message with you that will hopefully change your belief about perfectionism.
Sure, we all know consciously that perfectionism is a drag. Shoot, many of us nonchalantly tout our perfectionistic tendencies. But what’s really behind that line of thinking? Is there more to the story that we’re not looking at? I think so.
And I think a lot of it has to do with expectations. We expect our lives to look a certain way. We thought we would be by now. We hold unconscious and unexpressed expectations of ourselves and the people in our world. Is there room for error?
Is there any room for grace?
When we don’t address those subversive tendencies and expectations we tend to burn out, become frustrated and frazzled. I’m captivated by this topic. I’m fascinated by the idea that we’re all conscientious of the fact that perfection isn’t possible, but that many of us unconsciously continue to hold it as a standard. What’s up with that? Here, take a quick look at the definition of perfectionism:
a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable
If perfect isn’t even attainable, why would we punish ourselves by trying to attain something that’s not even real?
The truth is that Perfectionism promises something that it can never deliver. Find out how to check yourself before you wreck yourself.
How have you struggled with perfectionism? What’s one thing you’re taking away from today’s video?
Every single day friend! I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. Positive reinforcement and confidence was not something that was a part of my childhood, so letting go of my perfectionism has been very very hard. I liken perfectionism to an addiction- it is a constant and daily struggle to let go of it, but each day, one day at a time, it gets easier. The current aspect of my life where I’m challenging my perfectionism is in my riding- I’m learning that its never too late to strive for excellence, but in order to achieve that I have to let go of what didn’t happen in the past (my lack of competition record) and embrace what I can do now (get out of my head and learn to just get the job job the best I can). The thing about horses? They know if you are tense, and when you are inside your head trying to be too perfect, then you are absolutely tense, and it translates to the horse and how they move and react, and then you cannot achieve anything. I love your slip up re: procrastination, because I think that the two can be linked hand in hand. We often procrastinate on goals because we are in search of some perfect moment or indication to move forward! Looking forward to the post on procrastination!
Totally. Well put Misti. I couldn’t agree more. You’ve nailed the idea that perfectionism is like an addiction. Many times, its moment by moment. You’re right, it is born out of that lack of wholehearted confidence building developed as a kid.
Yeah, that slip up was ironically “perfectly” placed. I think that there’s actually a nasty trifecta of Procrastination, Perfectionism and People Pleasing. They all interlock with one another. Touching one issue invariably touches the other.
Thanks for commenting!