Two weeks ago a deadline was fast approaching.

For months now I’ve been on a path of recovery and healing, so life has felt harder than normal. You know how it goes.

I’ve also known for months that an event was coming up that I really wanted to attend. So much in me had become resigned to the fact that because of all the drama in my life, now wasn’t the time for me to try and squeeze it in.

In fact, I was so torn about going that I asked my mom to pray about the decision. I promised I would pray too and leave it up to God to decide. *Side note: that’s nearly impossible for me to do. Two days went by and I called my mom. “The timing is just not right. I would be forcing it if I tried to squeeze it in. Plus I would have to put it on my credit card. So I think I’m going to let this one go.”

She could hear the twinge of disappointment in my voice and sweetly agreed, comforting me in the let down. Perhaps this was the wisest decision. Don’t rush. Don’t force it. Let it go and move on. There’s always next year…

But that morning I had the house all to myself. Mike and the dog were at work and I had zero distractions. Even though I had a meeting scheduled early, I chilled on the couch thinking about what was going on in my heart.

Could I hear what it was saying?

Perspectives Can Change Your Life

I read a post by Jeff Goins earlier in the week that at first glance rubbed me the wrong way. It was about his awesome author friends and how awesome they are. I got a little spiteful and discouraged but ultimately wanted to do whatever I could to earn a seat at that table. But as I got to thinking and re-reading, I realized I had absolutely no room to be disappointed.

I had a seat at the table…in March.

All the sudden, I was struck by how incredibly grateful I was. Not discouraged. Perspectives are a funny thing. They can get you into a lot of trouble if you let them. Or, like a magic eye poster, if you’re willing to see it from another angle an entirely new reality hides right in plain sight. Our minds mostly believe in the same things day after day. It’s our hearts that help us to have fresh eyes.

With my new perspective I felt so much gratitude about having had a seat at the table, something I think everyone should have by the way, that I decided to write a thank you note.

I decided to express my gratitude in a Facebook post. It was my way of trying to be part of the Tribe even if I couldn’t be there in person. As I typed I got this idea. I would give what I was given. I would give away books and time.

More words poured out. Lots of good stuff…then another idea.

What if I could be there? What if I could find a way? There’s still time. I can still ask for help.

Help?

Not my thing. Next idea!

Wait. Why not this idea? Why not ask for help? What do I have to loose? So I went for it. I dove in feet first. Read about the crazy idea that got me to Tribe Conference here.

Within 8 or 9 hours I had donations hitting me from total strangers, friends, relatives, and a lovely acquaintance met on an airplane. Plus to make matters better, I had friends offering to open up their rooms in the hotel, others offered their tickets, and still others offered to leave their husbands at home. By the next day I had gone from throwing in the towel, accepting that this event was not in my future to being so abundantly funded that I could even bring a friend.

Once I hit $550 I messaged Jeff asking his advice. Should I give the money back? What should I do? I’ve never been in this situation before.

“Pass it on.” he said.

One, and only one, person came to my mind. Kate.

There’s Always More Room For Another Seat at the Table

Kate is a writer. She is a beautiful writer. Her blog is whimsical and sweet, deep and soulful. Plus there’s a viral recipe for some sort of Ritz cracker thing that has the internet a blaze. I love her. Over the past several years of being her friend, I’ve timidly shared my writing on scraps of paper and on secret blogs. All the while she’s been encouraging me to write. Encouraging me to use my voice. So, of course it was Kate.

We were fated to be there.

You see, God works in mysterious ways. And I never, ever, never thought I would be the kind of person to say something like that. But in fact, that’s the truth.

Consider this: without your help I could not have accomplished a life long goal. As a kid growing up I always knew I wanted to write a book. Now as an adult, I want nothing more than to help people through their difficult times. I believe it’s why I’ve lived through so much.

There’s a lesson in here. A lesson about asking for help, about asking for what is needed, and learning to receive help. Can you imagine if I hadn’t asked for help?

What if Kate and I weren’t there?

It’s one thing to ask, but I feel so many of us hate to be on the receiving end of “help”. Maybe you can relate? For me asking for help means that I have to get belly up vulnerable. I’ve got to show that side of myself that doesn’t have it all together and could never do it alone. I want to pay my way. I want to be seen as competent. Not needy, that’s for sure.

But in the end, it was mysterious how this theme of community, not self-reliance, wove itself throughout the entire weekend.

As my friend Jeff says, “Every story of success is story of community”.

There is much more to say on this topic. And this is the first in a series of posts about my time at Tribe Conference. I want to share with you what I learned so you can feel inspired too. But let me leave you with a parable for now that I think will do a much better job explaining how I feel.

The Parable of the Prideful Woman

There was a Proud Woman at the grocery store and she came upon a Young Mother with her baby on her back trying to fill 3 large water jugs. The Proud Woman stepped in offering her help to the Young Mother. Given that the Young Mother’s hands were so full and that she clearly couldn’t do it on her own, the Proud Woman decided it was good to offer her help.

The Young Mother gladly accepted the help now realizing she could never fill her jugs without it. The Proud Woman received so much joy and fulfillment in helping.