Counting calories will never work in the long run. It may work in the short-term to lose weight and feel in control, but it’s no way to live.

Here’s why — calories are not an indicator of good health or nutritious food. They don’t tell you the quality of the food or the content of the food. Let me repeat that:

A calorie can tell you nothing about the quality of the food or nutritiousness of the food — calories are in effect: useless.

Let me ask you a question: What do you think humans did before calories were discovered in the late 19th century?

Do you think our ancestors roamed the land thinking about their weight and their caloric intake, counting points and dreaming of shakes and the Paleo diet? No. Our foremothers did what they had to do to live, to survive, and to get what they needed to thrive.

People lived off the land, they ate what was in season, what was around them, and what they learned for generations upon generations to prepare. People had mental space and deep connection to their intuition. Food was life and tradition and family and culture. It wasn’t a weapon to torture ourselves with. It was and is an essential remedy against loneliness, disease and malady.

Food was a joy and a blessing. People broke bread together as a sign of fellowship.

To count calories is to be in a battle with ourselves. It is a soulless numbers game where you either win or lose based on your ability to conform. It is immediately restrictive. This is a law of human nature that at the very moment you restrict, you create a mental barrier to want what you can’t have. That’s why with my clients I teach what’s called “crowding out”. Rather than subtraction, we focus on addition. We add good things in and pretty soon there’s no room left for the things you no longer need…the things that no longer serve you.

Man cannot live by bread alone.

If money is a substitute for God and power, then food is a substitute for fulfillment and purpose.

If you’re munching like a crazy person throughout the day ask yourself these questions.

• Am I OK?
• What’s eating me?
• Am I afraid, worried, avoiding a project or a conversation?
• Did someone rub me the wrong way?
• Was there a trigger?
• Am I bored with life or tired of this scene?
• Do I need to feel comforted?
• What am I really hankering for?

Put your Primary Food first.

We need to feed our minds and our spirits first. Baby’s first food is love. That’s our Primary Food.

Primary Food is what I teach my clients about. These are the things that feed our minds and our spirits:

• spirituality
• relationships
• physical activity
• career (or calling)
• home environment

Let’s turn the diet industry on its head shall we?! Forget calories!

I never count one single calorie and I don’t weigh myself. I don’t want to abuse myself. I’m prone to abuse myself because of the way that I was brought up. So I know that if I want to maintain a healthy outlook of myself, which is a daily battle, I cannot count calories and I cannot weigh myself.

So what I do instead is count my Primary Food.

• Have I meditated or prayed today?
• Did I get personal time to think and journal?
• How’s my relationship with myself, my spouse, my parents, my friends?
• Do I need to make amends for anything, say thank you for sweet things?
• Do I need a kiss or hug? Is that why I am craving so many sweets? Do I need to feel the sweetness of life?

What about my booty?

• Have I shaken it lately?
• Do I need to detach from my phone or computer and get outside? Hell yes!
• Did you know it’s perfectly safe to be barefoot in the dirt? If you’re afraid of dirt, it’s been too long since you’ve been outside. Were you afraid of it when you were a kid? No, you ate it with glee! Mud pie anyone?

We can all be happier at work.

• If you can’t quit your job right now, can you be open to looking for work else where? You’re allowed to do that you know.
• Can you detach from the outcomes?
• Can you try to see your coworkers in a different light? I had a mentor say to me once “if you spot it, you got it.” My coworkers need a break too.
• What’s one way you can reframe your work situation?

We all deserve to enjoy the home we come to every day.

• Is it the way you want it to be?
• Could it use a nice cleaning?
• How about a house plant or two or four?
• Maybe you don’t need to get new pillows or buy a bunch of new stuff… Maybe you need to get rid of some things? Like, give them away freely.
• Having a home you love and feel safe and comfortable in is not about being materialistic. It’s about editing the world around you and believing that you deserve to live a life where you feel fully expressed, where the trappings of this temporal life are not keeping you trapped. Money and wealth have nothing to do with it. Trust me. I live off of a few hundred dollars a month.

Real food.

Now, after all of that we can look at the food that we put in our mouths. And here it is — plain and simple. The million, billion, trillion dollar secret that’s hiding in plain sight.

Eat real food.

Of course, Michael Pollen famously gave the one liner which perfectly sums up everything you need to know about food. But I want to elaborate if I may.

Eat plants, mostly green and the rainbow too. Eat whole grains like quinoa, millet, buckwheat and amaranth. Eat legumes like lentils, navy beans, kidney beans, and garbanzo. Eat fermented foods like sauerkraut, kimchi and miso. Eat fruits — fresh fruits! Eat as local as possible. Eat what’s in season. Shake a farmer’s hand. Eat in the morning and the afternoon, not too late in the evening and not too much. Drink fresh clean spring water, tea perhaps, a little coffee, and maybe a glass of wine every now and then. Say thanks. If you want to eat food that had a mom or face, make sure it had a life-and-death you would be comfortable with your kid seeing.

That’s it! That’s all you really need to know.

So tell me: what is your current food philosophy? What feeds your soul? Do you need a dose of Primary Food? Tell me in the comments below.